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Contact Vicki
When it comes to choosing an obstetrician for your pregnancy and birth, you’re not just choosing a care provider – you’re choosing someone who will influence one of the most vulnerable, raw, and powerful experiences of your life.
And while there are many excellent obstetricians who genuinely care about supporting women and providing evidence-based care, unfortunately there are still some who operate from outdated models of control, fear-based language, and convenience and money-driven practices.
It’s important to go into your care with your eyes wide open.
Here are some red flags to look out for, and why you should trust your instincts if they show up.
This is one of the biggest and clearest red flags of all.
If an obstetrician refuses to work with a doula, you need to ask why.
A doula is not a medical professional. We don’t speak for the woman. We don’t interfere with clinical decisions. Our role is to support emotionally, physically, and through information so that the woman and her partner feel calm, confident and heard.
So if an obstetrician is threatened by a doula, that should raise alarm bells about how much they control the birth space – and how much they want to control you.
A collaborative care team includes midwives, doulas, obstetricians and partners who should all have one shared goal: supporting the woman to have the best birth possible for her circumstances.
An obstetrician who won’t work with doulas is saying more about their own insecurities and control issues than it does about doulas.
It’s not just opinion – it’s evidence-based.
In fact, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG), which is the governing body for obstetricians in the U.S, published a study recently stating that continuous support during labour, particularly by a doula, is one of the most effective ways to improve birth outcomes.
ACOG acknowledged that women who have the continuous support of a doula are more likely to have:
So when an obstetrician refuses to work with a doula, they’re not just ignoring the woman’s right to support, but they’re also turning a blind eye to international evidence and recommendations from their own peers overseas, like the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG), who clearly state that doulas improve birth outcomes.
This speaks volumes.
Pip Wynn Owen from Birth Savvy also recently wrote about this:
https://birthsavvy.com.au/private-obs-perth-resistant-to-doulas/
If your obstetrician constantly talks in worst-case scenarios…
If they use words like “allow”, “let you” or “won’t permit” …
If they dismiss your questions or concerns with fear-based answers…
This is not informed consent.
This is coercion.
Every woman deserves evidence-based information, balanced discussion of risks and benefits, and the opportunity to make informed decisions about her own body and her own baby, free from bullying or intimidation.
Is your due date being treated like an expiry date?
Are you hearing things like:
“We’ll book your induction now just in case…”
“I don’t want you to go over 40 weeks…”
“I only deliver Monday to Friday…”
These kinds of statements often have little to do with medical necessity, and everything to do with the obstetrician managing their schedule.
Babies are not on a clock.
They don’t do antenatal classes or stick to a schedule.
Labour is not a medical procedure unless complications arise.
Do you feel like you’re on a conveyor belt?
Are your appointments rushed?
Are you given generic answers instead of personalised care?
You deserve better.
Pregnancy and birth are not “one size fits all.”
For those who know me you hear me saying all the time “every woman, every baby, every birth is unique.”
If your care feels cold, clinical, or dismissive then that’s a red flag.
Does your obstetrician talk about birth as a medical event that needs to be managed, controlled, and monitored within an inch of its life?
Are they dismissive of natural coping tools, active birth positions, water immersion, or hypnobirthing techniques?
Do they expect you to stay in bed, on your back, attached to machines – regardless of your birth plan or evidence-based guidelines?
Physiological birth matters.
The body is designed to birth and while medical support is vital when needed, it should never override or undermine what the body can do naturally.
At the end of the day if you are going private, you are hiring your care provider, so they work for you.
If you are seeing any of these red flags, especially an obstetrician who refuses to work alongside doulas, take a step back.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel heard and respected?
Do I feel safe and supported?
Do I feel like I have options and autonomy?
If not, it’s never too late to change care providers.
You only get to birth this baby once so choose a team that respects you, supports you, and collaborates with you, not controls you.
Birth is not safer because of more intervention – it’s safer because of better support.
Research consistently shows that continuous emotional, physical, and informational support in labour from someone outside the hospital system (like a doula) – leads to better outcomes for both mother and baby.
The Cochrane Review (2017) which is considered the gold standard of research analysis confirmed that women who have continuous support from a doula are:
The key finding was this:
“Continuous support during labour may be most beneficial when the person is neither part of the hospital staff nor the woman’s social network – such as a doula.”
Cochrane Review, Bohren et al., 2017
This is why it matters.
More machines, more monitoring, and more intervention do not automatically make birth safer.
But more support does.
A woman who feels safe, supported, respected, and undisturbed during labour is more likely to labour efficiently, birth physiologically, and recover well — both physically and emotionally.
Don’t be fooled by the smiling, friendly, charismatic obstetrician who seems lovely and makes you feel comfortable.
Of course, it’s nice to like your obstetrician but that should never be the reason you choose them to walk beside you during one of the most important and vulnerable experiences of your life.
I always say if you like an obstetrician, send them a Christmas card or take them out for coffee.
But when it comes to choosing the right care provider for your birth you need so much more than just liking them.
You need to know:
This is not about personality – this is about safety, respect, and your right to have a birth experience that honours you.
Choose your obstetrician like you would choose any professional holding space for something sacred – with discernment, wisdom, and a whole lot of questions.
We hear this phrase all the time “As long as the baby is healthy, that’s all that matters.”
But that’s not all that matters.
The woman matters.
Her experience matters.
How she feels about her birth stays with her for a lifetime – in her body, in her mind, and in her heart.
Birth is not a medical event to be managed.
It is a rite of passage.
A transformation.
A moment that shapes a mother’s story forever.
Every woman deserves to feel heard, respected, supported, and held – not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.
Choosing care providers who honour this – who collaborate with your support team, who value physiological birth, and who trust women’s bodies – is one of the most important decisions you can make.
Because a positive birth experience isn’t just about avoiding trauma.
It’s about creating a memory that a woman can carry with strength, pride, and love for the rest of her life.
Choosing a care provider for your birth can be a daunting task | Back to Basics Birthing
Your Birth Plan Is More Powerful Than You Know | Back to Basics Birthing
Your Rights as a Pregnant Woman in Australia | Back to Basics Birthing
The curse of the due date and the eviction notice for your baby | Back to Basics Birthing
Christmas and holidays are not medical reasons for induction | Back to Basics Birthing
Your cervix should not be on a timer | Back to Basics Birthing
Doulas versus Partners | Back to Basics Birthing
If you have any questions or would just like more information please don't hesitate to get in touch by clicking the button below and filling out the contact form.
Contact Vicki