Stop taking offence to every little thing – it is so exhausting!

Stop taking offence to every little thing – it is so exhausting!

Not everything is about you – and that’s actually a good thing

We live in a time where offence is almost a currency – but constantly feeling offended is exhausting, and let’s be honest, it’s not good for your wellbeing.

Not every post, quote, blog, or meme is going to reflect your circumstances, your values, or your personal experience. And that’s okay. We are diverse, complex, and unique human beings – it would be impossible (and unrealistic) to tailor every piece of content to fit every person, every time.

Yet somewhere along the way, many people have developed what I call “offend-itis” – the reflex to take personal offence to something that was never intended to harm or belittle. It can feel like some are scrolling through life just looking for reasons to be upset. But living in a constant state of indignation robs you of peace, perspective, and growth.

 

 

Yes, sometimes we’re all triggered or rattled by what we see online. We might disagree with the language used, the perspective offered, or the experience shared. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to agree with everything. You can scroll on. You can choose curiosity over criticism. You can choose to see that post as one perspective – not a personal attack.

In birth work – the space I work in – this is particularly important.

When I share a story, a statistic, or an opinion, it’s not meant to exclude or diminish anyone else’s experience.

It’s simply that: one part of the picture.

So let me be clear:

Sharing about natural birth doesn’t mean I don’t support women who had epidurals or caesareans.

Talking about breastfeeding doesn’t mean I shame formula feeding.

Advocating for VBAC doesn’t mean I’m against elective repeat caesareans.

Celebrating a birth story without trauma doesn’t mean I’m dismissing those who had a difficult or heartbreaking experience.

Discussing the way one obstetrician chooses to work; doesn’t mean I hate obstetricians.

 

 

Sharing a story of a heterosexual couple giving birth doesn’t mean I don’t support same-sex families or solo parents.

Posting a meme that resonates with some, doesn’t mean it’s meant to exclude others.

I share a wide variety of stories and perspectives from the families I support. I don’t censor them. They are real people with real births – beautiful, messy, complicated, joyful, traumatic, raw, and worthy of being heard.

I won’t dilute the message of one post just to pre-emptively soothe every possible reaction.

That’s not balance – that’s burnout.

And it’s impossible.

If it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay. Like my doula friend Kelly says: “If the cap fits, wear it. If not, put it down and move on.” The cap isn’t broken. It just wasn’t made for your head – and that doesn’t make your head wrong.

Let’s stop assuming that if someone celebrates one choice, they’re condemning the others. It’s possible to support all choices without having to mention every single option in every single post.

And yes, when I share research and statistics, they are population-level insights – not a personal commentary on your birth. Studies are meant to help us understand patterns and improve outcomes across the board. They are not meant to shame or invalidate your unique journey.

 

 

 

My job is to educate, advocate, and support – not to please everyone with every post. And while I remain open to learning, growing, and expanding my awareness, I won’t shrink myself or water down my voice to avoid the risk of offending someone.

Because quite frankly, if we all start doing that, the conversation stops. The real, messy, important, life-changing conversations – they disappear.

And here’s a little nudge: if you’re leaving passive-aggressive comments or playing the “but what about me?” game on every post, you’re not engaging in dialogue – you’re just projecting. Say what you mean, let’s have the real discussion, and we might both learn something.

If a post triggers you, ask yourself – is there something I need to unpack, or can I just let it be?

It is absolutely okay to celebrate birth in all its forms.

It is okay to honour the woman with the joyful story.

It is okay to grieve with the one who carries trauma.

It is okay to be different.

And it is okay to let others be different, too.

I’m a feminist. That doesn’t mean I hate men. It means I challenge the systems – the patriarchal structures – that continue to limit women’s choices and autonomy. I support women to make their own informed decisions, not just follow the ones laid out for them by institutions, traditions, or authority.

Let’s stop making everything about our own reflection and instead hold space for each other.

As Life Hacker Bill Apablasa says:

“The more space we give for others to be themselves, the more space they’re likely to make for us. I know it’s a tough goal to stretch for, but it’s also one that could change the world. It’s called freedom and it’s a peaceful, energising, and beautiful thing.”